 | Sorted. | Feb 11, '08 5:37 PM
for everyone |
My husband, or perhaps I should now be calling him my former husband, will be moving out during the 1st week of July. This seems like a long time away now, although I am sure it will be here in no time at all, but it's to allow both of us time to make some financial arrangements, and also means that Elizabeth can finish school and her exams without having to deal with these major changes to our lives.
In the meantime we will continue to share the house, parenting and grandparenting duties, (I'm unsure what will happen with the latter, post July, I am after all just step nan), and hopefully remain amicable.
Is it a sign of the times that this was sorted out via text messaging?
I wish I knew how I was feeling right now, strange times ahead I feel.
 | I don't know about a sign of the times, text messaging seems such a impersonal and sterile a way to organise something like this but I guess is also a fairly stress free way of doing things, I know mine was done the personal way and at times I found it quite harrowing.
I feel certain that your position as grandparent will remain intact, the little one will miss you if not. |
 | Wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but this time is different for everyone. I think that keeping things amicable is good. That's something I've always maintained. Not so sure of the wisdom of doing it all by txt message. I don't have enough to go on. Is it amicable BECAUSE it's by txt message, or am i looking at things the wrong way?
Regardless of that, you can always rely on the support of your friends. Any time you need to talk, just holler. |
 | I think it might be easier to keep it amicable if, for the moment anyway, arrangements are made by text. We were in the same house, just different rooms, and we had spoken about it earlier, but the kids were around, so texting was easier at the time, this is a very busy time for both of us and if we wait until we are face to face, at a convenient time, it could be months before anything gets discussed. For now at least we are putting on a front for a lot of people, not sure how much longer i can maintain it though. |
 | Oh. What stress! Although amicable, it's got to be tough. I can totally see the sense in texting. Impersonal has its benefits in a situation like this. Wish I had wonderful comforting words. All I can say is that I'm sending you good thoughts and prayers. V |
 | I'm so sorry, Viv. Hang in there. |
 | I lived like that for 3 years, Viv, in the same house with him staying downstairs and me staying upstairs until the kids were on their own. Although we didn't send text messages, we did write notes when something needed to be done, or if there was something with the kids. I think the note-writing made it possible to avoid a lot of arguments, and because of that, we're still friends. You hang in there because it'll be ok. |
 | Sorry Viv, I didnt realise you were going through hard times, perhaps I should pop in here more frequently.
My ex (before our plate throwing and screaming episode) would text me from upstairs to see if dinner was ready, but during the split up, he wouldnt talk to me, just my dad.
Hope it all turns out well for you in the end. |
 | ((((((hugs))))))))))))) wish i had the guts to make the decision, you take care of you Viv xxx |
| we live in the same house and communicate with notes if needed, you do what you need to do and all will be good in the end.im sure of it |
 | I can imagine texting being quite a pain-free way of getting through heavy discussions. I hope you're doing ok and that things continue to be amicable, you know I'm here to chat if you need it, and I am thinking of you. |
 | I'm at a loss, Viv. It's so easy to empathize and yet it's all a little unimaginable too. The level of stress must be overwhelming at times, but I hope that knowing what's happening and when it's happening is a relief of sorts. I echo Tally's sentiments - although we haven't chatted much over the years, I'd certainly be an ear or shoulder any time you need it. Hugs to you - You're so brave. |
 | It probably hasn't all been sorted out by text Viv - but it makes sense to use it as tool to keep the lines of communication open while you're sorting out your feelings and MUCH better than subjecting your kids to endless yelling and screaming episodes. I admire you enormously for giving them the priority but I agree with the others - it must be a hugely stressful time for you. If you don't mind me saying so though - I know we all have our faults but JK falling for a 23-year old is a sign of his, not yours. Just now, I imagine it's a huge stroke to his ego to have this young woman but I bet you anything at all that if you were a fly on the wall for his bathroom routine, you'd soon see him anxiously sucking in his stomach and checking his face for new wrinkles. Hold that image, and enjoy ;-) |
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